The Perils of Reading Anne of Green Gables

While I've been extolling the virtues of reading L. M. Montgomery books, I thought that I should warn you that your children may exhibit certain strange behaviors after being exposed to these books. Proceed with caution.

• There is a distinct possibility that when you try to sweep the floor in your home, you will be referred to as "the hired woman who works for my auntie."
• Your three-year-old who has always been obsessed with pulling your hair will still pull your hair, but will now say "Carrots!" when she does it.
• Your children may begin to think that "orphanage runner" is a job category to which they should aspire, and you may even overhear them saying disturbing things like, "We're playing we're in an orphanage and Daddy is dead and you run the orphanage."
• They may begin to insist on only wearing floor-length skirts and beg to grow their hair out and wear it in braids. You will then have to deal with your own issues that your children have begun to look like "homeschoolers."
• Your children may become strangely obsessed with Mrs. Rachel Lynde, and run around the house, pretending to be Marilla and Rachel, leaping over "cow pens" and yelling, "I feel like a young child again!" Not even I can explain that one.